Stage 2 EFT – Ben and Meg

An EFT Stage 2 session, of a couple with a more withdrawn female partner and a more pursuing male partner, demonstrates the consolidation of withdrawer re-engagement change event, and the third change event of EFT – known as blamer softening. This complements Chapters 6 and 7 – Working with emotion to shape the withdrawer re- engagement and blamer softening change events. Prior to completing these change events, the couple uses poignant, attachment images: “Meg” describes her withdrawer’s attachment panic of rejection and disapproval as a fire hose pelting water in her face and knocking her back and her inner sense of failing as a pot of failure bubbling in her chest. “Ben” describes his pursuer’s attachment panic of getting no response and fearing abandonment as a cold, white marble wall, sliding away, with nothing to hold on to and his dread and fear of loss and abandonment as a rock in his chest. Expanded themes of blamer softening, identified by Bradley and Furrow and presented in Chapter 7, are seen in the video. They culminate in Step 7 reaches, met with engaged responses, illustrating antidotes to attachment fears that heighten the safety of the bond.