Purchase Videos

Training videos, to complement the book are available for purchase by those who confirm they are mental health professionals. Pseudonyms are used in the introductions of the Stage 1, Stage 2 and Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy videos below. Each training video is subtitled and punctuated with commentary noting interventions, steps and stages and other therapeutic processes. Along with the purchase of each training video is a pdf introducing the video and an annotated transcript.

Videos 1&2
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Video 1
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Video 2
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Video Descriptions

Stage 1 EFT Video : Ted and Jed

A Stage 1 session of a gay couple illustrates elements of the first change event of EFT – de-escalation. Metaphorically they de-escalate their automatic cycle of a train gathering speed, away from the station, by accessing the underlying fears that are powering the train. The more pursuing partner, whom I will call Ted, acknowledges he fires up and becomes like the scorched earth in Gone with the Wind, when his more withdrawn partner, Jed, describes the “all flight, no fight” panic that overcomes him in the face of Ted’s outbursts. This video complements Chapters 4 and 5. Chapter 4 is Assessment and alliance: The attachment experience of steps 1 and 2. Chapter 5 is The tyranny of unheeded attachment fears: Unpacking emotion in the de-escalation change event: (Steps 3 and 4).

The video begins with clarifying the simple Step 2 of EFT: The cue that each partner receives from the other that triggers a sense of attachment threat and the automatic self- protective moves or actions that made in reaction to these perceived threats. The cue for Ted is a look of admonishment or disapproval on Jed’s face or any sign that Jed may be about to flee. This moves him to quick reactions of angry complaints. The cue for Jed is Ted’s raised voice. This triggers his reaction of getting out of the way and letting the train run its course – what he calls his reaction of “all flight no fight”.

Stage 2 EFT Video : Ben and Meg

An EFT Stage 2 session, of a couple with a more withdrawn female partner and a more pursuing male partner, demonstrates the consolidation of withdrawer re-engagement change event, and the third change event of EFT – known as blamer softening. This complements Chapters 6 and 7 – Working with emotion to shape the withdrawer re- engagement and blamer softening change events. Prior to completing these change events, the couple uses poignant, attachment images: “Meg” describes her withdrawer’s attachment panic of rejection and disapproval as a fire hose pelting water in her face and knocking her back and her inner sense of failing as a pot of failure bubbling in her chest. “Ben” describes his pursuer’s attachment panic of getting no response and fearing abandonment as a cold, white marble wall, sliding away, with nothing to hold on to and his dread and fear of loss and abandonment as a rock in his chest. Expanded themes of blamer softening, identified by Bradley and Furrow and presented in Chapter 7, are seen in the video. They culminate in Step 7 reaches, met with engaged responses, illustrating antidotes to attachment fears that heighten the safety of the bond.